Okay I am in need of some counsel and advice. I usually keep my blogs pretty upbeat but not this one. I need help! If you do not share my same religion you may not understand my duress but I need help!
Connor is 15 months old. For whatever reason, he is my 5th kid, but I don't know what to do. I can't get anything out of church. Monte is usually pretty busy 2nd and 3rd hour so it is just me and Connor. I feel like I take the Sacrament and spend the rest of the time in the hall. I just want to go home. I have 11 weeks left before he starts nursery. I don't remember ever feeling quite this bad. I was trying to remember the others but I either had a calling that made Monte take the kids at this age or a calling (like library when Britton was this age) whereit didn't matter. I remember wanting my kids to go to nursery but never have I needed my kids to go. I finally have a calling where I can go to all the classes and have a spiritual moment-but NO!
Today I spent the last two hours in the nursery at church that isn't being used right now and I read the Ensign about the Savior. I enjoyed the articles - but I can do that at home. So why not just stay home? What will I miss having Connor yell and scream in my arms or chasing him down the hall? I need help. What should I do?
Sorry if this is so down but I am so tired of hearing nothing in Church!! I got the Sacrament, one testimony, and the opening prayer is Sunday school.
Love ya!
My Kids
Britton (15)
Chandler (12)
Kaitlyn (9)
Sydney (6)
Connor (4)
My Man
I Am...
- Kim
- I am a mother of five children. I am a wife of one pretty incredible man. I am the daughter of parents that I adore. I am the sister of two pretty crazy brothers. I am the sister-in-law to 7 very fun individuals. I am the daughter-in-law to parents I couldn't duplicate if I tried. I am an avid reader. I am always searching for ways to be a better person. I am constantly wanting to learn something new. I am there for my friends. I am nothing without my God. I am almost always tired! I am always ready to leave at a moments notice to go have fun!
6 comments:
I am on my own during sacrament, and I am a firm believer in crayons, books, snacks, and cars!! I also have brought in quiet nursery toys for Caleb to play when I am in Relief Society. I am in Relief Society seldom, because of my calling, so I am not sure how effective this would be. I feel your frustration, but he is your last and you will have your time in church soon enough! Hang in there!! You are doing great!!!
I have been there, and I have felt THIS bad. When the twins were this age, Church sucked.
It sounds like since Monte cannot take the kids 2nd and 3rd hour, he should be on Connor duty so that you are able to get something out of church. If he can't do it every Sunday, perhaps you could trade off, either every other Sunday, or you get to listen to the first half of Sacrament and he gets the second.
My other suggestion would be to just let Connor walk around and play a little during your other classes. Sit in the back, bring something for him to do, and if he wanders around a little (if he's relatively quiet) no one will really care.
So, those are the "easy" solutions.
The hard one is to make sacrament meeting more fun than the hall.
This means that if he is not willing to be good and quiet during sacament meeting, when you do go out, you take him to an empty classroom and you hold him on your lap with his arms folded until he is ready to go back in and be good.
This takes some patience and a lot of follow through, and once you start, you can't waiver. But when they learn that there is more freedom to be had inside the chapel, than out, they eventually settle down.
Good luck. I know your pain!
Oh, Kim, you must be at your wit's end. Mia used to be extremely rowdy in Sacrament Meeting, but fortunately it wasn't really bad until after she was in Nursery and I could get a little break. Does Connor get really vocally beligerent/fussy when you are in SS and RS? Does he run around uncontrollably while making noise? Because behavior like that probably can't be fixed with crayons or a quiet book. Do treats work positively on him? Maybe switch off treats and a coloring activity. What does he usually sit still for? Is there any way to incorporate any of his sit-still activities in your classes?
This is a hard one. It really stinks when dad has other responsibilities and can't really help out. Will Connor let anyone else take him? A lot of times Mia would do much better with someone other than me. When Chris had to be out of town or on shift during Sacrament Meeting while I was the organist, sometimes my visiting teacher or even the Bishop's wife would take my girls for me. Mia was always so good for them. Do you have anyone you feel close to who would try taking him for a short bit during one of your classes just to see how he would do with someone else? Denise has some good ideas about switching off in Sacrament Meeting and also making going out of class no fun.
I don't know if any of these ideas will work with Connor or not, but I sure hope something works for you. Church shouldn't have to be a chore or unfulfilling. But don't give up. The Lord knows you want to be at church and that you want to get something out of it. He'll send you something to help. Even if your problem doesn't get solved, something will come along to at least make it better for you. Hang in there.
You need to be there - perhaps it is the example you are setting that is more important than what you are getting out of it right now - maybe the example is for your children or maybe it is for someone else who is thinking the same way - either way it is worth the 3 month strugle (plus I like to say hi to you when I am in the hall!). We are currently accepting applications for a third nursery - are you interested??
I forgot to mention...at least it is 3 hours that the house isn't getting any messier - although getting to church can do some serious damage, so you might want to scratch that!
I feel your pain. I actually thought it got harder with each child, because I was worn down from the previous ones.
I am really "mean" to my little ones and will not let them out of my arms at all. We wander the halls and look at the pictures of Christ and temples and scripture stories or just sit in a chair without toys. It's tiring and definitely not as spiritually fulfilling as being able to attend class. But I figure it's a good lesson on teaching them about self-control, so that one day they will be able to sit still...plus they get their own one-on-one gospel tutelage.
Good luck.
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